A collection of our favourite poems, dedicated to, or even written by the honourable Miss Jane Austen. We have also added a few of our own poems, in which we hope you will enjoy. These will mostly be the work of Miss Smith, as she is more experienced in the subject of writing and language; however, we shall all try our very best to take part in this joyous activity.
From How to Become Ridiculously Well-Read in One Evening, compiled by E. O. Parrott (Viking, Penguin Books, 1985)
Pride and Prejudice
“Marry well”, is Bennet tenet: Bingley singly must remain
Since classy Darcy (Lizzy-dizzy) thinks he’s far too good for Jane.
Rummy mummy, jaunty aunty, these would drag both gallants down –
Plus the younger siblings’ dribblings over officers in town.
See the specious Wickham trick ‘em with his tales of birthright gloom,
See how hideous Lydia’s ruin looms before she gets her groom;
Glassy Darcy saves the bacon, shaken out of former pride:
Is he Lizzy’s destined love, to shove her prejudice aside?
Has she clout to flout that matron, patroness of priestly coz
(He whose ludicrous proposing Rosings rules — like all he does)?
Darcy oughter court her daughter, destined his through two decades…
“Mulish, foolish girl, remember Pemberley’s polluted shades!”
Dare she share his great estate, or can’t Aunt Catherine be defied?
Yes! and ere the bells ring jingly, Bingley too shall claim his bride.
[Note that this works best when read with a British accent, and that "ludicrous proposing" is the object of the verb "rules".]
James Edward Austen
James Edward Austen (later Austen-Leigh) wrote this poem in 1813
To Miss J. Austen
No words can express, my dear Aunt, my surprise
Or make you conceive how I opened my eyes,
Like a pig Butcher Pile has just struck with his knife,
When I heard for the very first time in my life
That I had the honour to have a relation
Whose works were dispersed throughout the whole of the nation.
I assure you, however, I’m terribly glad;
Oh dear! just to think (and the thought drives me mad)
That you made the Middletons, Dashwoods, and all,
And that you (not young Ferrars) found out that a ball
May be given in cottages never so small.
And though Mr. Collins, so grateful for all,
Will Lady de Bourgh his dear Patroness call,
‘Tis to your ingenuity he really owed
His living, his wife, and his humble abode.
Epigraph to “The Janeites”
Jane lies in Winchester — blessed be her shade!
Praise the Lord for making her, and her for all she made!
And while the stones of Winchester, or Milsom Street, remain,
Glory, love, and honour unto England’s Jane!
To Miss Austen
On such Subjects, no Wonder that she should write well
In whom so united those Qualities dwell;
Where “dear Sensibility”, Sterne’s darling Maid,
With Sense so attemper’d is finely portray’d.
Fair Elinor’s self in that Mind is exprest,
And the feelings of Marianne live in that Breast.
Oh then, gentle Lady! continue to write,
And the Sense of your Readers t’ amuse and delight.